what monotony bred
it would be great if this job were more mentally challenging for me - load the part, let my mind drift for 19 seconds while the machine does it's job then replace it with another and press the green button and begin everything again another 500 times before my shift ends.
of course, i can't control which way my mind wanders. do i want to clean house when i get home tonight?...damn, a beer would taste good right about now...that new guy has a nice ass...he reminds me of someone i used to know. which, inevitably leads me to thoughts of sex (or lack of, in my case).
what kills me most are the memories of my past lovers. thousands of miles between us and the time that has passed has done nothing to diminish the heat of those moments. just sitting here thinking of them makes me flush with heat. should i tell you how much the remembrance of phil's breath on the back of my neck and his lips on my shoulder blades still make me weak in the knees after all this time? lord, i wish it didn't but it does. do i even need to tell you what the more intimate memories do to me? yes, let's not go there.
and now my mind is stuck on that topic. being flushed with the memory of past orgasms is so much nicer that wondering why i can't find someone here and now who will, at least, for the moment just hold my hand.
it shouldn't be any surprise that my worries seem to pile up when i am hormonal. and now that i'm getting older, it seems to be a lot more often. why can't i cry about not getting that fabulous brown suede jacket or not keeping my room clean? why does it always happen because i feel more lonely these days?
oh, how my mind slips and wanders - i need to call mary back in san diego and find out if she has had any more encounters with mr. fishlips...remove the part, replace it, press the green button...i need to start making jewelry again...remove, replace, press...the catbox needs to be cleaned...remove, replace, press...god, i miss being warmed by someone...remove, replace, press...remove, replace, press.....
posted by twh @ 7:01 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I love this entry, Teresa. I love it. Though -- not to take away from it -- I also want to develop a recipe for Monotony Bread. I'm just not sure what the ingredients would include....
Its thoughts like this that truly reveal our self. We let our thoughts be known to those that others would not. I find a soul with the ambition to write such thoughts as if very much a part of me. Why in this world must we be so guarded. We all think, some less then others but for some reason we put on A display for having them. I want out of this. Why cant I tell you what I think of you ass hole. You have got to know you are one. I don't because it would be wrong. I don't want to press metal either, all I want to do is catch. Latter T S
yes shawn, i know how you feel. i know you;re not calling me an asshole. i wish i could say what i wantd but, for the most part i have with no fear of reprisal, it's good not to live a life in fear.
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